Nerd...y?

So, a thought occurs today. Suspend your disbelief, I know.

I watched a short Youtube series called 'Nerd of the Week' which focussed on a different type of nerd or nerdy thing for five episodes, covering; PAX, Second Life Nerds, Harry Potter Nerds, Blogger Nerds and Chiptunes Nerds. They're HERE, if you wanna check them out.

Anyhow, to me that choice of subject range seemed really well thought out, if a little disjointed. I'm not disputing the 'nerdery' of any of those, by any means. I find the manipulation of old gaming hardware and code for the purposes of musical performance, not only fascinating and worth investigating further, but just as nerdy as the Harry Potter fanatics. But the range of the topics didn't seem... well... traditional!

When I think 'nerd sub-cultures', I think along the lines of; comic nerds, game nerds, book nerds, trekkies, Star Wars nerds and, maybe if there's time, the growing following of Nerdcore Hip-Hop. I know this is very close minded of me, but that's what I think and what I'd think would be the natural grouping for a set of webisodes. I certainly wouldn't think to put Bloggers in there, even though I do know of a few good nerdy blogs and, let's face it, I'm a nerd who blogs...

Now, this got me thinking about what it is to be a 'nerd' these days. I started thinking about the group of nerds I game and hang around with and, even the extended group we sometimes intergrate in to is such an amazingly diverse crew that it's hard to put a definate label on any characteristic that makes us 'nerds' other than our own passionate and vocal determination to label ourselves as such.

I can't help but wonder if this is what is was like when punk and goth and all the previous cultural movements started gaining momentum. All you needed to do to be one of the group was be there and identify with them. There were no judgments, no rules or expectations. There wasn't a sense of base knowledge or training as there tends to be in what remains of those cultures these days.

Another possibility is that 'Nerdy' is becoming a catch-all term for something not mainstream, but survives through the internet. Such terms have existed before; 'Underground' and 'Indie' being the most prominent in recent years. These terms were never defined, but instead used to describe anything that fell somewhere outside of the sphere of commercialised culture. The main difference between these and 'Nerdy' is the existence of the Internet. However, one must realise that the internet has not supplemented word of mouth in it's importance for spreading awareness of the new movements, but rather has replaced it. Word of mouth is not dead, by any means. Social networking sites such as forums, Facebook, FourChan and, yes, even Myspace have become the places where the devotees to 'Nerd' gather to talk. As opposed to the clubs of the 'underground' or the coffe shops of the early 90's 'Avante Garde' movement.

One thing I do find funny about all this is how Seattle has, once again, risen to the fore of a new cultural movement. What the hell is is about that place? In the late 80's, it was the breeding ground of musical talent and almost mecca for those who wanted to explore different avenues, which led to the birth of 'Grunge'. Now, it's a place where Nerds and Nerdcore have really taken root. Penny Arcade? MC Frontalot? Optymus Rhyme? All Seattle. Hell, there's talk that Scott Kurtz of PvP will be moving there. It's the Ground Zero of PAX! For nerds who are in it for the culture, this is the place to be!

To be honest with you, I don't see 'Nerd' becoming a catch-all. As a cultural definition, it has reached that crux, sure, but I'm almost convinced that it will push past that in to the realms of true sub-culture. I just wish I were able to be there to see it. Seattle's so damn far away from Adelaide.

Dammit.

The turist's guide to my personality, courtesy of a personality test...

So, I did one of those personality tests today and the result was pretty accurate. Not even in a horoscope-vague kind of way, but in a very specific way.

I came up as a INTP, but I was also very close to either a INTJ or a ENTP, so there's a little bit of crossover. Now, I found that some of the things written here sum me up much better than I will ever be able to, so I thought I'd impart them upon you. Well, it'll kill 10min, won't it? So, here ya go:

[Any notes from me will be bracketed from here on out]

[First, the Wiki article]

I – Introversion preferred to Extraversion: INTPs tend to be quiet and reserved. They generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances, and they expend energy in social situations (whereas extraverts gain energy).

N – iNtuition preferred to Sensing: INTPs tend to be more abstract than concrete. They focus their attention on the big picture rather than the details, and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities.

T – Thinking preferred to Feeling: INTPs tend to rely on external, objective criteria rather than a personal sense of right and wrong. When making decisions, they generally give more weight to logic than to social considerations.

P – Perception preferred to Judgment: INTPs tend to withhold judgment and delay important decisions, preferring to "keep their options open" should circumstances change.

Myers-Briggs description

INTP types are quiet, thoughtful, analytical individuals who don't mind spending long periods of time on their own, working through problems and forming solutions. They are very curious about systems and how things work, and are frequently found in careers such as science, architecture and law. INTPs tend to be less at ease in social situations and the "caring professions," although they enjoy the company of those who share their interests. They also tend to be impatient with the bureaucracy, rigid hierarchies, and politics prevalent in many professions, preferring to work informally with others as equals.

INTPs organize their understanding of any topic by articulating principles, and they are especially drawn to theoretical constructs. Having articulated these principles for themselves, they can demonstrate remarkable skill in explaining complex ideas to others in simple terms, especially in writing. On the other hand, their ability to grasp complexity may also lead them to provide overly detailed explanations of "simple" ideas, and listeners may judge that the INTP makes things more difficult than they are. This to the INTP, however, is incomprehensible: They are merely presenting all of the information.

INTPs' extraverted intuition often gives them a quick wit, especially with language, and they can defuse the tension in gatherings by comical observations and references. They can be charming, even in their quiet reserve, and are sometimes surprised by the high esteem in which their friends and colleagues hold them.

When INTPs feel insulted, however, they may respond with sudden and crushing criticism. After such an incident, INTPs are likely to be as bewildered as the recipient. They have broken the rules of debate and exposed their raw emotions. This to INTPs is the crux of the problem: emotions must be dealt with logically—because improperly handled emotions, INTPs believe, can only harm.

Cognitive functions

Drawing upon Jungian theory, Isabel Myers proposed that for each personality type, the cognitive functions—sensing, intuition, thinking, and feeling—form a hierarchy. This hierarchy represents the person's "default" pattern of behavior.

The Dominant function is the personality type's preferred role, the one they feel most comfortable with. The secondary Auxiliary function serves to support and expand on the Dominant function. If the Dominant is an information gathering function (sensing or intuition), the Auxiliary is a decision making function (thinking or feeling), and vice versa. The Tertiary function is less developed than the Dominant and Auxiliary, but it matures over time, rounding out the person's abilities. The Inferior function is the personality type's Achilles' heel. This is the function they are least comfortable with. Like the Tertiary, the Inferior function strengthens with maturity.

Dominant: Introverted Thinking (Ti)
In the INTP, as with all introverts, the Dominant function is introverted. As introverted Thinkers, INTPs spend the majority of their time and energy putting order to the interior, logical world of principles and generalizations in an effort to understand. Introverted Thinking is calm, articulate, and aware of the forces that bind reality together.

Auxiliary: Extraverted iNtuition (Ne)
The Auxiliary function is extraverted iNtuition, which gives INTPs a grasp of the patterns of the world around them. They use their iNtuition to put empirical data together into coherent pictures, from which universal principles may be derived. INTPs frequently puzzle over a problem for hours on end, until the answer suddenly crystallizes in a flash of insight.

Tertiary: Sensing
The Tertiary function is Sensing, which gives INTPs the potential for keen observation. They use this function to gather empirical data, use physical tools, perceive physical relationships, and support their internal logic with a rich sense of space. (Note that experts disagree on whether the tertiary function is extraverted or introverted.)

Inferior: Extraverted Feeling (Fe)
The Inferior function is extraverted Feeling, which drives the INTP to desire harmony in community. At their most relaxed, INTPs can be charming and outgoing among friends, or when they have a clearly defined role in the group. When under stress, however, INTPs can feel disconnected from the people around them, unable to use their extraverted Feeling to reach out to others. As their inferior function, Feeling can be a weak point; when threatened they will hide behind a wall of stoic logic. This can lead them to bottle up their emotions to preserve reason and harmony; but a failure to deal with these concealed emotions can lead to childish outbursts.

[I won't include the interaction dynamics section as it relies on knowing the different personality definitions a little too much]

[Now, I'd like to include a couple of things from the borderline possibilities that reflect me well]

[Firstly, from INTJ]

J – Judgment preferred to Perception: INTJs tend to plan their activities and make decisions early. They derive a sense of control through predictability, which to perceptive types may seem limiting.

[I've put this in because I do strike a balance between the two, really, depending on the situation]

According to Myers-Briggs, INTJs are very analytical individuals. Like INTPs, they are more comfortable working alone than with other people, and are not usually as sociable as others. Nevertheless, they are prepared to take the lead if nobody else seems up to the task, or if they see a major weakness in the current leadership. They tend to be pragmatic and logical individuals, often with an individualistic bent and a low tolerance for spin or rampant emotionalism. They are also commonly not susceptible to catchphrases and commonly do not recognize authority based on tradition, rank or title.

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel... This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals... Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense

They are often acutely aware of their knowledge and abilities, as well as their limitations and what they don't know (a quality that tends to distinguish them from INTPs). INTJs thus develop a strong confidence in their ability and talents, making them natural leaders.

[Now, on to the ENTP]

Using their primary function-attitude of extraverted intuition (Ne), ENTPs are quick to see complex interrelationships between people, things, and ideas. These interrelationships are analyzed in profound detail through the ENTPs auxiliary function, introverted thinking (Ti). The result is an in-depth understanding of the way things and relationships work, and how they can be improved. To the ENTP, competence and intelligence are particularly prized, both in themselves and in other people.

ENTPs are frequently described as clever, cerebrally and verbally quick, enthusiastic, outgoing, innovative, flexible, loyal and resourceful. ENTPs are motivated by a desire to understand and improve the world they live in. They are usually accurate in sizing up a situation. They may have a perverse sense of humor and sometimes play devil's advocate, which can create misunderstandings with friends, coworkers, and family. ENTPs are ingenious and adept at directing relationships between means and ends. ENTPs "think outside the box," devising fresh, unexpected solutions to difficult problems. However, they are less interested in generating and following through with detailed plans than in generating ideas and possibilities. When ENTPs are used correctly on a team, they offer deep understanding and a high degree of flexibility and problem solving ability. The ENTP regards a comment like "it can't be done" as a personal challenge, and, if properly motivated, will spare no expense to discover a solution.

Inventors tend to be laid back, nonjudgmental, and good conversationalists. They are often nonconformists who attract a circle of friends interested in their ideas or activities. Generally informative rather than directive in their social exchanges, Inventors are often able to explain their own complicated ideas well, and to comprehend the complex ideas of others. In arguments they may use debating skills, often to the significant disadvantage of their opponent. This strategy can backfire, however, by alienating those seeking a cooperative relationship rather than a combative one

[Now, if anything strikes you as self-contradictory, bear in mind that everything I've posted is valid, but when more than one option is available, it depends on the situation, my mood, day of the week, etc.]

[One of the sites had an article about how the different types interact in relationships and, the entry for INTPs - referred to as architects here - is a little scary]

Some Rationals seem so cold and logical that it's hard to imagine them doing something as frivolous as falling in love. Most Rationals do not express the range of emotions other types do because they keep their emotions tightly in check, usually showing them only to those closest to them. Getting a Rational to open up and show their tender side can be a great challenge, one many women find intriguing.

Rationals are the least likely types to remember important days, such as anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. However, they do tend to be steadfast, being among the most committed. Their partners can expect intellectual stimulation, debating from multiple perspectives, and a lot of autonomy. Rationals are the most likely types to treat their partners as equal in adult status.

Sam, an Architect (INTP) Rational, had a slow start in the dating game. However, he found his own niche in college by becoming the Brain. He was in a long-term relationship which died long before he was willing to write a death certificate. After some time had passed, he discovered another woman he'd actually known for years. He was hesitant to make a commitment after the last fiasco. However, when he suggested they live together, she said she would only live with him if they were married. That helped him make a decision to commit without feeling pressured.

[So, there we are. A tourist's guide to my persona, if you will. Enjoy]

A lazy day...

So, I'm sitting here on my day off, going through other people's blogs mainly because I don't feel like playing 'Mass Effect' again at the moment.

It's rainy and overcast outside and, in this low socio-economic area of Adelaide, there's very little vibrancy to be had, which leaves me hanging a little. For some odd reason, I'm craving a sense of life. I'd love to just sit drinking a coffee, watching a city filled with life, but I don't see that here. I've never seen that here. Maybe my perception of a sens of 'life' is too romanticised, maybe I'm just too cynical about my hometown, but when I sit and watch the people here, I never sense the life of it, just the depression.

I'm listening to a friend of mine's CD, Ben Mitchell's 'The Stars Can See'. It's on iTunes and is well worth buying. They guy writes beautiful songs and, if you ever get the chance, is a captivating performer. I met him when I lived in Melbourne. He had a regular gig playing at the pub down the road from where I lived and I went and watched every week. He's a very open and friendly guy and we got talking. Nice guy, great musician, fantastic performer.

Thinking on it, I guess what's missing for me in Adelaide's social facade, if you'll excuse the clumsy expression, is joy. Sitting in Rundle Mall, I've yet to see more than one or two scattered moments of happiness. I guess I kind of crave that, not really having it myself, like a fucking vampire or something. I want to sit somewhere open, warm and bright, watching the people interact with a feeling that life here is good. I want to feel like other people like where they are, so that, even if I'm not, I know it's not all poinless.

You may not think it, but I'm actually in a really good mood. I've written my exercise story for today, far earlier than I usually manage, I've found a few new blogs to watch (even if one of them is someone I know already, shhh!) and something that made me laugh in it's odd leachery.

However, I am rethinking my current position on where I want to live. I know Adelaide, even with it's amateur theatre, isn't really for me... But, I don't know where I will find what I'm after... Damn, that means I need *more* money so I can travel a little and track somewhere awesome down... great :-/

Oh well, that's me done for now... not sure what I'm going to do now though... Hmmm...

Best. Rehearsal. Ever!

So, we had the first rehearsal dor 'The History Boys' last night and, personally, it was actually the best and most successful characterisation session I've ever been a part of. We had 7 of the 8 boys and the director sitting around, discussing each boy's motivations, history, fears and hopes, future and opinions of the staff.

It was really good to get us all sitting around throwing ideas around. For one thing, it really highlighted, for me, that we are all quite serious about our acting. It was a really open, friendly atmosphere and I know from last night that we have a really good group dynamic as a cast.

Now, of course, I need to figure out how to apply all that to the script... Hmm.

I was looking forward to woring with these guys before, but now I'm getting pretty pumped about it...

Body image and sefl-conciousness

Right, so, I need to stay focussed and keep posting on this blog. Got to justify making it...

I've always had an issue with things like this. I tried to keep a diary once, years back and failed at it. I've tried to regularly blog a couple of time before and ended up just not posting for months at a time. I even tried to keep a comic journal and, although I do think it was quite funny, eventually I just stopped posting. I know, in a way, history tells me that this blog and the writer's exercise one I started at the same time are doomed, I should keep optimistic, I guess.

Okay, I'm going to reiterate a conversation I had last night and expand on it a little, just for shits and giggles. It concerns self-image, breasts and cocks. Penises, if you will...

I was talking to one of my kitchenhands last night about this. In reality, women don't actually have any reason to be self concious about their breast size. I am well aware that they *are*, but the reasons are completely manufactured. Things have been getting better recently since the women who are put up as 'normal' in the media have had a wide variety of breast sizes and, in an effort to be more realistic, have tended towards the smaller than average. This is good, particularly for someone like me. I'm not a large boob guy. If they're out of proportion with the rest of your body, they just don't look right and, personally, anything over say a D cup is a bit much and tend to get in the way more often than not.

Now, since breasts really are unavoidable when you look at a woman, there are enough examples of differing breast sizes in the popular media and ranks of celebrities that almost any woman can, if they're impressionable enough to require this kind of affirmation, look at someone famous and feel good about the size of their own. Guys, on the other hand, have NOTHING!

The penis is almost never shown in popular media. I'm not exactly sad about this, since the cock is essentially a graceless and unaesthetic piece of machinery seemingly tacked on to the male body, I'm just saying that men have no comparison point. The only way a guy can have a clear picture on where he stands is if he knows the average length is somewhere in between 6 and 7 inches and gets out a tape measure.

One thing all young people need is more people in positions of influence who are comfortable with their bodies. They need to see that someone who isn't perfect can still be comfortable enough to say "this is what I have, what of it?". The truly unfortunate thing is that our society, being a primarily christian/catholic society and fairly conservative to boot, is at it's essence, well, prudish.

I have a concept in my head for a website dedicated to profiling celebrities, in the nude, most of whom don't have perfect bodies. People who you won't see in playboy or what-have-you, talking about themselves; what they like about themselves, what they don't like. If you presented it well, the site would be a great place for teenagers to come and see that, no matter what your shape or size, all you need to be is comfortable with yourself!

Funnily enough, that wasn't the ending I was heading for when I started this post. Just goes to show, huh? Once I start a train of though, I can end up anywhere. Mind you, now I have that concept... I wonder how viable it is...

Succumbing to my ego...

Well, here I am again... starting a blog, of all things.

Truth be told, I like blogs, I really do. I've just never really been able to hold one together for very long, so I can hardly make any promises about this one, I guess...

So, I suppose I should introduce myself...

I'm 23, a native of Adelaide, South Australia. I'm a very creative sort, if somewhat unfocussed. I'm a musician, writer, actor, soon to be adding director, teacher and photographer to that list, as well. I work in retail fast food, as a shift supervisor, which is close to the worst job I've ever had, but unfortunately all I have right now.

I'm not Adelaide's biggest fan, I must admit and eagerly await the day when I can get my roots up and jet out... I'm not 100% sure on where I'm heading, since I have a list almost as long as my arm of places I plan on living before I settle down, but I have plenty of time to decide.

I'm most active as an actor at the moment. Since 2005, I've performed in 9 plays, which includes an entire year's break. I've only really done work with a single company, The Tea Tree Players, but recently branched out to perform Aladdin with the Northern Light Theatre Company and will be appearing in Mixed Salad Productions' upcoming production of Alan Bennet's The History Boys, which should be good fun. I finished performing in an adaptation of Agatha Christie's A Murder Is Announced last week, with The Tea Tree Players, which was fun as always and just as exhausting.

I've been a musician the longest, taking up the guitar at the ripe old age of... 9? yeah, 9! It's also where I'd say I have the most natural talent, but Adelaide doesn't really have much of a live music scene and anyone serious about playing original music gets their ass at least to Melbourne as soon as they can... I tried that, didn't end well... I, obviously, play guitar primarily, but I'm a fair multi-instrumentalist. I can sing, can play drums, bass and a bit of keys. I experiment in electronic music and would love to work on a bit of nerdcore... just need to figure out how to rap, first...

I write a fair amount, off and on. That's really what's drawn me back in to the world of blogging. I found myself starting to lag a bit again, suffering from more and more writer's block and a friend of mine, who I'm working on a short film with at the moment, gave me a one word writing assignment... 'Blood'... that's all he gave me. Well, an hour and 500 words later, I started writing my stuff again and that lasted me a good length of time, so I decided to start a blog on here where people could give me random writing assignments and I'd try to pump one out a day. We'll see how that goes, huh? So, yeah, I write fiction, but I also write scripts. I've written one short film script which will be entering production soonish and I've got two feature length scripts in the pipeline.

I'll mention here that I also write webcomics... I used to write for Vacant and Engaged, but that didn't end the best, so I lurked, waiting... Well, I've found another artist to work with and a concept that *might* end with a sustainable story, so we're working on that now...

The 'Director' and 'Photographer' labels are purely conceptual at the moment. Once I can find a new job that will give me a sustainable income and the freedom with my hours to commit to the time, I'll be putting my hand up to direct a show with The Tea Tree Players, which should prove to be fun. I'll be under the tutelage of Theresa Dolman, who I've both acted with and been directed by, so that'll be a laugh, if nothing else. The photogrpahy is waiting for me to get a camera... soon... soooooon...

The teaching one is kinda funny. A good friend of mine (and old crush) from primary school has offered me a job teaching drama and acting. That's kinda cool, I must admit, especially since it's paid work. Because of work and all that shit, I can't really commit to more than the single senior (18+) class a week, but I'm eager to get going. I'm hoping to develop a tight, sellable teaching program to pitch to schools and whatnot... more details as I think of them.

Well, that should give you an idea of what and who I am. I shall reveal more as I rant on about things, believe me...

Ta
Ali